i think my tv is drunk
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
