she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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