i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize