I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
