screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
