Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
