dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
