Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
