please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
