Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
