When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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