last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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