Joe is yelling at the trees again.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
