i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
