I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
