You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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