i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
