I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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