I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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