i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
