This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Randomize
