I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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