i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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