She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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