You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
