You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
