Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
