What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Randomize
