One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
