i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
