You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
