Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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