Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
