ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
