Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
