I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
