i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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