sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
