Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
