the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize