so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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