It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
