break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
