The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
