we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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