seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
