This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
