There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
