my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
