Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
