There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just pee around me
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
