Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
