i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
