If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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