What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize