Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
