Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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