im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
