If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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