Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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