wat bout pragnant strippers??
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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