gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
