the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
