Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
