so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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