My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
