Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
