return my video game
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
