Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Randomize
