Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
