Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He better not be in your backpack
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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