i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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